Impossible Blessings
by LostOne125
Summary: Dean/Castiel. male/male. M-preg. Season 5 AU. Castiel has some surprising news for Dean, but will Dean be able to handle it?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters. **

**Impossible Blessings**

"Dean."

"**Dean**."

"What, Cas?" the hunter sighed, turning to face the angel. He was currently sitting on his bed in green and orange colored hotel room on the outskirts of a small town in Minnesota. Sam had gotten his own room. They had just finished up a case, and one of the women (a cute blonde) they saved took a liking to Sam immediately. His brother needed to get laid anyway; he needed a distraction.

One of the other women. Her name was Naomi or something; she had made her interest in Dean obvious, but he was in no mood for it. Not with the Apocalypse and their dwindling chances of winning on their own looming over their heads. He didn't want to admit it, but someone else was on his thoughts at the time. He really needed to get himself together.

Dean had heard the flutter of wings, but Cas didn't say anything. He had been staring out the window, so Dean had let him be, even though he wanted to ask where Cas had been and if he was okay. But he kept his mouth shut. A few minutes had passed before Cas's rumbling voice had spoken up.

Cas was standing near the window, his blue eyes staring at him in that unnerving way. But then he noticed the way he was looking at him. No one would be able to notice it from the usually stoic angel but he did. Cas was nervous. Now, he got worried. He placed the remote on the nightstand, before scooting over to the edge of the bed where the constantly rumpled angel was standing.

"What's wrong, Cas? Something bad happen?"

Cas blinked a few times. "I am not sure whether you would consider this bad news or extremely bad timing. I, on the other hand, would regard it as a gift from my Father."

Dean arched an eyebrow. "Dude, I didn't understand a word of that. Stop beating around the bush and spit it out."

The dark-haired angel stared at him for a few seconds, and then took a seat at the table, hands resting in his lap. His eyes looked at a spot over the hunter's soldier. Dean noticed Cas's fingers began to play with the end of his tie, probably a habit left over from Jimmy.

"Cas," he said, leaning his head to the side to catch his eye.

"I am pregnant," Cas said suddenly, looking he hadn't really meant to blurt it without any kind of transition.

Dean stared at him for a while. His eyes growing steadily larger as the realization of the angel's words rushed over him. "B…B…But, how? Y…You're a dude."

Cas shuffled his feet and stared at the ground. "It has always been known for angels to mate with humans, but for an angel with a male vessel, it is very rare. You must forgive me, Dean. I did not think that it would happen."

Dean jumped from the bed and walked over to in front of the table. He began to pace back and forth, running his hand through his short spiky hair, muttering to himself. "This cannot be happening."

He felt the weight of the gaze on him, but he didn't care. He had every right to freak out. He got a damn angel pregnant and a very male one at that. Only this type of crap would happen to him.

"Damn it, why the hell didn't you tell me that something like this could happen? I can't raise a kid right now. This is just fucking crazy." He yelled. The flinch from the angel made him feel a little bad. Those big blue eyes stared up at him and hurt flashed through them.

"I am sorry, Dean. As I stated before, it is very rare, and I did not think it would occur." Cas stood up slowly with his tan trench coat hanging protectively around him. Dean couldn't stop his eyes from dropping to the angel's belly. He wasn't really showing yet or at least he didn't see anything with that over sized shirt and the coat in the way.

"But, it was one time," Dean whined. Yeah, that was a lame excuse, but come on, he was getting desperate.

Cas frowned. "As I recall, it was more than once." Dean blushed hotly, but Cas continued, "I knew this would be difficult for you to hear, but I did not think you would react this way. I understand your reservations about the situation, but we are having a child together, Dean. I thought that…" He took a few steps toward the other man and reached out to touch his arm in order to comfort.

Dean looked away as he ground his teeth together to keep from saying something really bad to piss him off and stepped away from the outstretched hand. "What? That we could be a little happy family? You're not living in reality, Cas."

The angel's eyes fell to the floor, becoming increasingly interested in the pattern on the carpet. His hand dropped loosely to his side.

Practically everyone around him always ended dying, what makes it seem that his own kid wouldn't be any different. He refused to see any harm to come to their child. They were in the middle of the damn world ending. Lucifer was on their ass, oh, and let's not forget the archangel that wanted to take over his body. They'd use anything to get to him, especially this.

The sadness and rejection he saw on Cas's face made him feel like he just purposely ran over a puppy. It felt like a weight had settled over his chest. He knew he was being an asshole, and now he felt like kicking himself. This was not the guy's fault.

Dean scooted closer to the angel, who looked really upset, and grabbed his arm, before he could fly away and disappear. His fingers wrapped around a thin wrist.

"Cas, I'm sorry I'm being a jerk here, but you have to understand. We have Lucifer to deal with, and the angels who will do anything to make me say yes. Do you know how it will be, if they find out about our child? They'll have a fucking field day with it. I'm just scared, alright. Don't go."

Cas glanced up into Dean's eyes, the force of it hitting him square in the chest. Cas looked relieved at his words, and his rigid stance relaxed a bit. "I know all that, and that is the source of my fear also. But, your previous statements made it seem as if you do not want to have a child with me."

Dean watched in horror as his eyes teared up a bit. Before he knew what he was doing, he yanked the angel into his arms, slipping his hands under the trench coat and around his waist.

"I'm sorry, Cas. Don't cry." The last thing he wanted was to ever make Cas cry. He had never seen the angel so emotional. Must be the pregnancy hormones. "I'm sorry, Cas. It's not you. I just freaked out a bit. Can't really blame me for that."

Cas slowly pulled away and looked up into his eyes. Those eyes of his always got to him, although he would never admit it. Just with one look he saw that Cas understood and everything was alright.

Dean felt something clench in his chest, and it hit him. This was Cas. The angel who grabbed him from the pit, got blasted by an archangel for him, and gave up heaven for him. The one who really knew him with all the bad and good mixed together and still cared about him. Now the angel was carrying his child. _Shit._

"Dean," Cas said hesitantly, hands clasping at his shoulders, hovering over the handprint.

Dean stared at him like he couldn't really believe he was there with him.

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Cas's temple, and the angel further relaxed into his embrace, dropping his head back onto Dean's shoulder. "We'll figure something out. We always do. I want let anything happen to you or the baby."

"It is a boy, Dean."

He felt his arms tighten around the slowly falling angel, who was pregnant with his son. _His son_.

"I got you, Cas. I got you both."

* * *

Wow, it has been a while since I wrote something. Real life and school got a bit distracting. I have some stories I'm in the process of writing and some sequels I promised. Hopefuly, I'll be able to get started on all that this summer.

Hope you like this one. I love Dean/Cas together.

Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters. **

He could feel the insides of his stomach twist when he saw Cas fly through the air and land hard against the wall. Rage boiled up inside of him and he took out Ruby's knife and headed for the demon.

With it distracted by Cas, he was able to stab it in the throat. The demon's former shell flopped to the ground lifeless. He glanced over to his brother and watched as Sam finished off another demon.

Dean hurried over to Cas's side and helped him to his feet. "Hey, Cas, You alright?" His hands pulled open the tan trench coat, checking the angel for injuries. His fingers searched and found nothing.

He glanced up worriedly, when strong hands came up and gripped his wrists firmly but gently.

"I am fine, Dean," Cas said in his low voice , looking at Dean with those large blue eyes, seeming to transmit another unspoken message. _The baby's fine too._

Dean stared at him for a few more moments, trying to get his heartbeat under control. For a minute, he thought Cas and the baby were done for. It sent a chilling, unpleasant feeling through his body. He was still having a hard time dealing with the fact that Cas was pregnant, but he was slowly coming around to the idea of being a father and the fierce protection of his family seared through his bones. Cas's eyes seem to shift to look behind him. He heard someone clear their throat and shuffle their feet. He turned around and Sam was staring at them strangely.

"Dean, is everything okay?"

The picture that he and Cas made played in his mind like a video and his feet quickly carried him out of the angel's space. This was not the time for chick flick moments, certainly not in front of Sam.

"Yeah, Sammy. Everything's fine. Let's get out of here before the cops show up or something."

They were in someone's house.

Sam just nodded but that look didn't leave his face. Dean took point and led them out of the house. He took his normal place in the driver's seat with Sam by his side. He realized someone was missing. He looked and saw Cas standing there awkwardly in the driveway. He rolled his eyes and poked his head out the window.

"Are you going to get in or are you going to stand there all day?" Even from here in the middle of the night. He could see that familiar head tilt.

In one blink Cas was there and in another he was sitting in the backseat.

He started up his baby and pulled out of there and sped down the street. He turned up the radio that blasted Led Zeppelin.

If he glanced in the rearview to look at Cas a few times, who could really blame him? Their eyes met and he couldn't stop the wink he leveled at the angel and the satisfaction he got out of the twitch of Cas's lips, which only he knew were the beginnings of a smile.

He was so busy dividing up his attention between the road and Cas that he didn't notice the looks Sam was throwing his way, one of bewilderment, suspicion, and reproach. But Cas remained oblivious as he stared out the window.

"Finally, a hotel. I'm so fucking tired. My back is killing me," Dean groaned, voice filled with tiredness, "It's your turn to get the keys for the room, Sasquatch."

Sam shot him a bitchy face and got out of the car. Dean could've sworn he heard 'jerk' under his breath. "Speak a little bit louder next time, sweetheart," he yelled out the window.

The large retreating figure threw up a middle finger at him and a grin blossomed over his face.

A creaking of the leather in the backseat garnered his attention, and there was Cas still sitting there waiting. He turned around and propped his arm over the back of the seat.

"Are you sure you're okay, Cas? You scared me back there."

Cas' face was illuminated by the beams of yellow from the streetlight, creating shadows over the curve of his cheeks, nose, and lips. He looked beautiful. Dean shook his head and paid more attention to the moving lips.

"….fine, Dean. The baby and I are in very good condition. You forget I cannot easily be hurt, even though I am pregnant. I am still an angel."

"I know you're still an angel, Spock. Doesn't stop me from worrying. I just don't want anything to happen to you and the baby."

Those blue eyes seem to sparkle. "I understand." And just like that Cas knew what Dean was dealing with, what he was really worrying about, that he wouldn't be able to keep him or their son safe.

Dean turned away and focused his attention on the steering wheel. "Sometimes I don't think you do. You think you're indestructible and you're not, not as much anymore." _'Because of me'_ went unspoken.

A soft sigh echoed throughout the car. Dean felt it before it happened. A hand closed over his left shoulder as his eyes fluttered closed.

"Dean…"

A knock on the window interrupted the rest of his words. The hand disappeared from his shoulder. Sam was standing there with a pinched expression, kind of like he swallowed a whole bag of Lemonheads.

Dean opened the door and got out. "You got the keys, bitch."

"Yeah, jerk. Open the trunk so we can go inside. I'm freezing."

Dean smirked as he walked to the back. "Such a delicate thing you are, Sammy." They got their bags out and headed to their room with an angel following behind them.

Sam glanced behind them and looked at Cas in confusion. "Is there something you want, Cas?"

Dean's back stiffened as he opened the door to the hotel room. He walked in and threw his bag on the nearest bed, toeing off his boots and taking off his leather jacket. His body landed heavily on the bed, staring at his angel. Indignation rose up in him and directly pointed at Sam, but that wasn't right. Sam didn't know, didn't have any idea about their relationship or whatever the hell you call it (They basically had sex once or a couple of times. Who's counting?) and their 'little bundle of joy' he thought sarcastically.

Sam had put his bag down on the bed by the wall, looking expectantly at Cas for an answer.

Cas's face was hidden by the shadows since he wasn't fully in the room yet. The angel seemed to flounder for an answer. Tension filled the room.

Dean bit down on the side of his mouth. "Cas, get your feathery ass in here."

He shot a glare at Sam. "The angel's tired. He can at least rest with us, if you don't mind, princess. He's not bothering us by being here. He just helped us fight off a bunch of demons."

Sam put his arms in a placating gesture. "I'm sorry, Cas. I just thought you wanted something. I didn't mean anything by it." He shot his own glare back at Dean.

Cas walked carefully into the room, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his coat. It was then with horror Dean realized Cas was crying.

"Do you not want me here, Sam? I know you have not always liked me. I thought we had resolved things by now. Are we not friends?"

If Dean hadn't been horribly embarrassed and a little upset that Cas was upset, he would've laughed at the look on Sam's face. It was a cross between a fish gulping in water and that kid from Home Alone.

Sam's mouth opened and closed until he found the words. "Uh…Cas…I'm sorry. I do like you. We are friends. Of course you can be with us." He stumbled over and helped Cas into one of the chairs at the table. He searched through his pocket and found a little packet of tissues and handed one to the angel.

Cas carefully took one and wiped his cheeks, staring forlornly at his hands that trembled in his lap. "Thank you, Sam."

Sam glanced helplessly over at Dean. "You're welcome. I really am sorry Cas."

The angel simply nodded and stared at the floor. An uncomfortable silence settled over the room.

Luckily Dean's stomach broke it by rumbling loudly. Two sets of eyes zeroed in on him and he felt his face grow hot.

"What? I'm hungry. Go get us some food, since you made the angel cry," Dean added, gaining immense satisfaction from the way Sam's face turned red in embarrassment and guilt.

"Yeah, okay," Sam said hastily, throwing his jacket on and grabbing the keys from Dean's outstretched hand. He scampered out the room like his ass was on fire.

"Get Cas something, too. And don't forget the pie," Dean got up and yelled out the door. He shut the door and came to face the two sad looking eyes. The sadness there forced him to look away. He walked over to his bed and grabbed the remote flipping through the channels.

He could still feel that damn gaze on him. It finally became too much and he turned to look at the angel. "What, Cas?"

"Are you ashamed of me, Dean?" he asked quietly.

Dean froze. "What are you talking about?"

"Are you ever going to tell Sam about us? He is going to be an uncle."

Dean immediately sat up and stared at Cas. "Now is not the time. There are a lot of things going on, especially for Sam. We need to keep this between us for right now."

A muscle in the angel's jaw twitched. "You did not answer my other questions. Are you ashamed of me?" The air crackled with a type of power that could only be coming from the being sitting in front of him. Was Cas gonna smite him or something? Must be pregnancy hormones.

Dean ran his hand tiredly over his face. "I am really trying here, Cas. It's only been a few weeks since you told me, and I'm still getting used to the idea of being a dad. You got to be a little bit more patient with me."

The intense power that seemed to be emanating through the room calmed down, and Cas slumped backwards against the chair.

"You are a very confusing human, Dean Winchester. You go back and forth being excited about the arrival of our child and acting like we are a burden."

Now that just hurt. Cas thought he was being an asshole. And knowing himself pretty well. Dean knew that the angel pretty much summed up his whole attitude perfectly.

"Cas, come here," he said softly, patting the space beside him on the bed.

The weary-looking angel hesitantly got to his feet, walked over, and plopped down beside the hunter.

Affection wasn't something he was used to expressing, with Sam it was vague insults to show he cared. He couldn't do that with a pregnant angel.

Dean forced himself to put his arm around Cas who looked surprised but happy. When he saw that look in Cas's eyes, he couldn't feel ashamed about it. "I'm sorry I've been a dick lately. You don't deserve that Cas. Not at all."

Without knowing what he was really doing, he pulled Cas close against the side of his body and pressed a kiss to his temple.

Cas sagged into the embrace, wrapping his own arm around Dean's waist, fingers digging into his hip, sending a warm flood through the hunter's heart and his groin.

"Dean."

And the man couldn't help but smile at all the multiple meanings just in the way the angel said his name. To him it sounded mostly of relief and contentment.

"Stay, Cas. Stay with us tonight, and we can tell Sam tomorrow."

He felt Cas nod his head against his shoulder.

Suddenly Dean felt this urge and his hand moved to Cas's belly, rubbing over the now small mound there. Now it felt really real. He was going to be a Dad.

"How far along are you exactly Cas?"

"Approximately 12 weeks, 4 days, and 18 hours."

Dean couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled up. Cas stared up at him from his spot on his shoulder, gazing at him curiously.

"I should've expected that."

Then the unexpected happen and Cas actually smiled, not that faint one, but a real smile.

Sorry to be a sap about it, but Dean could've sworn it was one of the most beautiful ones he had ever seen.

Since he was looking at Cas's smile, his attention switched over to his lips, and something electric shot through his stomach.

He leaned down and those two blue eyes widened. A pink tongue dashed out to lick across his dry lips.

They were mere centimeters apart.

Then the door to the hotel room banged open.

* * *

I have no idea where this came from, but I just felt like writing it.

I don't know where this story is going, so feel free to throw some ideas out.

I really love Dean/Cas. They are my OTP. Why aren't there more mpreg stories out there?

Anyway, hope you liked it.

Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters****. **

Sam stared at them with his mouth hanging open. He snapped his mouth closed and came into the room, kicking the door shut with his foot. He placed the bags of food on the table. "Is there something you guys want to tell me?"

Dean just kind of sat there for a few seconds in surprise. Instinctively, he quickly put some space between himself and the angel. Out the corner of his eye, he saw the flash of hurt on Castiel's face. Guilt slid through him.

Dean watched as Sam glanced around the room. He fidgeted when that gaze landed on him.

The angel wasn't looking at Sam though; he was staring at Dean. His eyes watched Dean's various expressions cross his face: surprise and shame. The last emotion seemed to trouble him the most.

Dean sighed. "Cas and I took a vote. We agreed you should lay off the burritos. You're fogging up the windows, dude."

Sam's face folded into a bitchface. "Dean, that isn't funny, and you're ignoring my question. Did I just…Were you two kissing?"

Dean cleared his throat in obvious discomfort and got up to steal the bag from Sam to get his own food. "About time. I'm starving." He was going to try and avoid this line of conversation as long as he could.

"Cas, are you okay?" Sam asked worriedly. Like, Dean was taking advantage of him. He almost felt offended, but embarrassment was the winning emotion right now.

"I am fine, although Dean and I would like to talk to you about something."

"About what?" Sam asked the confusion evident in his voice. "What the hell is going on here?"

Dean didn't turn around from the table at first. He felt stuck to the spot. He didn't dare look at the expression on his brother's face. Cas got up and touched his shoulder, but he said nothing. He really didn't want to tell Sam this, and deep down he knew the reason why. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Cas's brow knitted together. Tension filled the room.

"You might want to take a seat then Sammy. We were going to wait and tell you tomorrow, but I guess we might as well do it now." Dean rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, while he turned and leaned against the table. Sam's face was all wide eyes and poutiness.

Cas squeezed his shoulder in a comforting gesture, but Dean wasn't sure that was going to help much. He really didn't want to tell Sam right now, but what other choice did he have. Sam had practically caught him with his hand down Cas's pants, which he shouldn't have been doing anyway. That's what got them in this mess in the first place.

"You see…Cas and I…Well, we…Um…Shit…"

Cas rolled his eyes in a very human gesture. "Dean and I are expecting a child. You are going to be an uncle."

The look on Sam's face was comical. Dean really wanted to laugh, but he couldn't find it in himself to do that.

His brother's face transformed into that expression he gets when he's thinking really hard about something. Dean usually would tell him he looked like he had gas, but this wasn't the time to make a joke.

"I would ask you how because you're a man, but it makes sense because you're an angel, so I won't even ask that question. I just…When did you guys realize you loved each other? I mean knew it was something between you two. I just didn't think you guys would ever figure it out," Sam finished looking at the both of them curiously.

"Love…what the hell?" Dean had the decency to look surprised with his mouth trying to form words. There was that dreaded word. He didn't even remember telling Sam that he loved him. Panic rose up in him like a tidal wave. He could feel the freak-out strumming through his body. He had just told Cas he would do better, but he couldn't handle this like he thought he could.

Cas looked mildly surprised but pleased.

Sam got up and went to his laptop. "I can't believe I'm going to be an uncle. There are a lot of things we're going to need to prepare for the baby."

"Are you serious? Cas just told you we're going to have a kid, and you're first thought is about planning a baby shower. We're in the middle of the apocalypse, Sam. Why am I the only one who remembers that part?" Dean said, waving his arms around and pacing the middle of the room.

When he stopped walking around frantically, two sets of eyes were trained on him.

"Dean," Sam said slowly, like he was talking to a 5 year-old, "we'll figure something out. I mean this is the only good thing that's come out of all of this. Why can't we be happy about it? It's not going to be easy, but I think we'll be okay. "

The fight seemed to go out of Dean at those words, and he stared at the floor. He rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. He plopped down on the bed with his head in his hands. It just made everything seem more real.

"Dean," the angel whispered, sitting beside him, "what's really the matter? I do not believe that this is entirely about the timing of the child. You seemed accepting of it just a few minutes ago. There is something else bothering you."

Sam shifted in his seat uncomfortably. This seemed like a private moment, so he snuck off to the bathroom and closed the door, turning on the shower.

Dean still had his head buried in his hands, hiding from that unrelenting blue-eyed gaze. He was really glad Sam left the room because he felt like he was getting ready to break down. The fierce protectiveness he felt for the angel almost rivaled what he felt for Sam, and it scared him. "What the hell have you done to me, Cas?"

That night wasn't supposed to lead to this. It was just going to a wham-bam-thank you, ma'am-kind of deal. An awkward memory two friends could forget about. It wasn't supposed to make him feel like he needed Cas, needed to constantly touch him, and be around him.

The angel's brow furrowed in confusion. "Dean, I have done nothing to you. Tell me what is bothering you. I cannot help you if you do not talk to me."

"You and I should never have happened, Cas. I fucking ruined you, man. Why can't you see that?"

Cas recoiled as if he had been slapped in the face. "I do not understand. Do you not love me as Sam implied?"

Dean got up from the bed and turned his back on him. A deep aching feeling filled his gut. "I don't know."

Wasn't that the God's honest truth? He had no idea how he felt for him. He was attracted to him and cared about him. But loving him? Love was a whole other game.

Silence permeated the room, until one of the light bulbs overhead begin to flicker and hiss.

"I see," Cas muttered.

"You deserve better than all of this, Cas. I made you turn you back on your family, and now I've gotten your pregnant. How can you be so calm about all of this?" Dean began to pace back and forth in front of the room.

Cas sighed and stood up from the bed. He blocked off Dean's path. His blue eyes were alight with frustration and anger. "We have talked about this, Dean. You did not make me do anything. I made that choice because it was the right thing to do."

Dean glared at Cas's calmness, but he could tell he was barely hanging on. "But, Cas…"

"I am not finished. You may stand there and pretend that you don't know how you feel about me," he paused and stepped closer, "but I know how I feel about you, and I will show you that you are worthy one day." Cas gripped the sides of Dean's face and gently pressed their lips together.

Dean gasped at the touch of those lips against his. Memories of that night sprang up in his mind and sent a shiver down his spine: the heat of the angel's body underneath his, the soft gasp of _deanplease_, the feel of being inside him, and the taste of plush lips.

Dean felt drunk. He followed him as he pulled away.

The angel took several step backs and turned to look out the window of the motel room. "We are having a child amongst all this chaos. He is the only light in all of this darkness. I only wish you could see that."

Dean blinked, and Cas was gone in a rustle of feathers.

* * *

I know it's been a long time since I updated, and I apologize for that. This year has been very crazy, and I haven't been able to write fic like I wanted to. I have a few weeks to write before I go on a trip, so I wil try to write as much as I can. I can't make any promises. All I can do is try.

It took me the longest time to figure out how I wanted this story to go. I believe I've figured it out.

Hope you liked this chapter. I'm working on the other one right now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters. **

A couple of weeks passed with no word from Cas. Somehow Sam knew Dean had done something wrong to make the angel disappear. He kept asking Dean what happened, but Dean would always changed the subject or just flat out ignored him. Sam decided to give him the silent treatment, unless they were talking about a case or the fucking Apocalypse.

Dean felt like shit, like stepped on shit in the middle of a forest. He felt lonely without Sam's conversations and Cas's silent support. He tried so many times to call Cas, but all he got was that awkward voicemail. He was just being honest about his feelings. _No, you weren't._ He grinded his teeth together and told that little voice to shut the hell up.

He was not in love with Cas. At least, he didn't think he was. He cared about him and wanted to protect him, but that's where it ended. He was supposed to feel like his burden had lessened, when he told the angel how the truth, but it didn't feel like that at all. It felt like something was missing.

Fear took hold of him, and a tightening feeling formed in his chest. He bit his lip as he looked up from cleaning his gun. Sam was tapping away on his computer, pointedly not looking in his direction.

Dean was getting tired of this elementary school bullshit. Sam was his brother. Whose side was he on anyway?

"Sam, when are you going to stop acting like a girl?" Dean huffed in annoyance.

Sam didn't stop typing on his computer. He just rolled his eyes. "When you tell me why Cas hasn't been around? I'm not stupid, Dean. You said something to him, and you need to make it right. Something could've happened to him, and we wouldn't even know about it."

The older hunter went back to cleaning his guns with Sam's words rolling around in his head. It's not like Dean hadn't thought about it. An unpleasant feeling tingled in his chest. As each day passed he had gotten even more worried about the pregnant angel.

"I know. I know. You don't think I haven't thought about it. I've tried calling him, but he won't answer me," Dean grumbled.

Sam finally looked over at his brother. "Just tell me the truth. Maybe I can help."

"Alright, fine. You want to know so badly. I told Cas I didn't love him. I told him I couldn't be with him like he wanted me to. Besides, it's your fault. Everything was fine, until you bought up 'being in love.' Dean finished, voice rising at each word.

"Are you seriously trying to blame me? And, don't try to pull that macho crap. You love Cas, but you're too scared to admit it," Sam yelled right back.

Dean got off the bed and started putting his stuff back in his duffel. "Screw you, Sam. You don't know what the hell you're talking about. Cas is an angel, in case you forgot. He doesn't even know what human emotions are. "

Sam shook his head in disappointment and put his hands on his hips. "Cas knows what love is, probably more than you. He gave up heaven for you, man."

Dean grabbed his keys and jacket. "You know what. I'm going for a drive."

He slammed the hotel door behind him.

Driving always helped clear his head. Deep down, he knew Sam was right. Cas loved him, and Dean still wasn't sure whether he felt the same way.

Cas had turned on his family for him. Every day, he killed his brothers all in the name of helping him. The air in the car suddenly felt stifling. He came up on a clearing on the side of the road and pulled over.

His boots crunched against the gravel as he got out and leaned against the hood of the car with a beer in his hand. The night sky stretched on while the stars twinkled in the sky. He pulled his leather jacket around him.

Dean thought back on the times they were together. It had always been something between them. Dean always put up to the fact that Cas pulled him out of hell. They had some type of bond because of that. After that first meeting, Dean could tell that Cas was different from all the other angels. He acted like he really did give a shit about what happened to humans, especially Dean.

When Cas made the decision to rebel, Dean remembered the fear in Cas's eyes as they stood in Chuck's kitchen. He knew he was about to die at the hands of the archangel, but he stayed behind anyway to give Dean a chance to stop his brother.

After Lucifer rose and they were facing down Zachariah, Dean had been so sure that that was it. He'd have to give in and be an angel's receptacle. Then, Cas appeared looking every inch of an avenging angel. The relief he felt at seeing that dirty trench coat had been overwhelming. For a second, he almost hugged Cas right then and there, but he got a hold of his emotions.

Dean closed his eyes and thought about that night before summoning Raphael. He had been drunk but not that drunk. It had been to help Cas after the disaster at the brothel, but it turned into something more. A warm sensation formed in his gut, and he took a large gulp from his beer. If he was honest with himself, it had been some of the best sex in his life, and that's saying something. Dean suspected it had more to do with who it was then what they did.

Even before Cas told him he was pregnant, things had been radically different between them. Not a day went by that he didn't think about the angel.

When Zachariah sent him into the future, seeing Cas like that hurt more than he ever thought it would. His future self had stopped caring about the angel, and Cas had become broken because of it. It was at that moment he promised to do better for Sam and Cas. He couldn't let that happen to either one of them.

The angel was pregnant with his child, and Dean had to do better for their son. Cas depended on him and loved him, even when he really shouldn't. He had seen the hunter at his absolute worse, yet he still stood by him. Dean felt completely overwhelmed with that type of devotion.

Cas's words replayed in his head, '_I will show you that you are worthy one day_.'

If Cas had no problem with loving him, why did it scare him so much? Cas hadn't even experienced human emotions like this, but it was so easy for him to say how he felt.

Dean still felt like he didn't deserve it, but Cas did. Cas deserved to have someone love him just as much, and it was the damn Apocalypse. The hunter didn't have that luxury to ruminate on it for much longer. Hell, it could all be over tomorrow, and Cas would never know how Dean felt.

This made his heart twist with an unpleasant emotion. He didn't want that to happen. He didn't want to hurt Cas anymore.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone and dialed the angel's number.

It went straight to voicemail, and it worried Dean. After the beep, he left a message. "Hey, Cas…uh…I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the other night. I…Just call me and let me know you're okay. We need to talk. I've been doing a lot of thinking these past weeks. What I need to say…It needs to be said face to face. Please call me, Cas. "

He told him the location of their hotel room and hung up the phone. This was his chance to make things right again. He needed Cas, more than he was willing to admit.

The last dregs of beer slid down his throat smoothly, then he got in the car. A few more minutes passed as he drove around trying to gather the tornado of thoughts in his head.

When he finally pulled up to the hotel, he expected Cas to be standing out there waiting for him, but he wasn't there. The door of the Impala's door creaked, when he shut it.

Dean opened the door to the hotel room to come face to face with Sam and Cas sitting at the table talking. They immediately stopped as he entered the room.

He shrugged off his leather jacket and threw his keys on the nightstand. "Hey, Cas. I'm glad you came."

Cas stood up and walked toward him, invading his personal space once again. "I received your message. We need to talk alone."

They both glanced at Sam who flushed and scurried to get his jacket and the car keys. He stopped at the door. "I'll be gone for an hour. That's all you two are getting. Try not to make Cas upset again, jerk."

"Get the hell out, bitch," Dean snapped, blushing at the words. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Cas again.

The door closed on the end of Sam's laughter. Now the only sounds were his breathing and the muffled voices from the television.

Dean looked up at the angel who was staring at him with soft eyes. "Cas, I'm sorry. I've been a real dick to you. I know I keep doing it and then apologizing. It's like some kind of fucked up cycle. I don't know why I keep doing it…"

"Dean…"

"No, let me finish 'cause I don't think I can do this again. You know I hate chick-flick moments. You're like family to me, Cas. Sam, you, and Bobby, Ellen, and Jo are all I got left now. I'd hate for something to happen to you or me, and I never told you the truth. I do love you, Cas. I think I realized it right when you saved our asses from Zachariah that time, or maybe it was the first time I met you. I knew it was different with you. I've never had that before, what we have. You're like my best friend. These past couple of weeks really made me realize that what I felt for you was more than that. It's the damn apocalypse, and I don't want to waste that time dancing around this thing between us. So, if you're willing to be with my sorry ass, then I want to give us a chance."

Dean looked anywhere except at the man…angel standing in front of him, rubbing the back of his neck.

A hand slid across his cheek, and he leaned into the touch.

"I am very glad to hear that. I would like to give us a try also. I do not think your ass is sorry either," Cas added with twinkling eyes.

Dean barked out a laugh, kissing Cas's slim wrist. He finally met blue eyes that made him feel stripped down to his core. "You've got a way with words, man."

Cas gave him that small smile as Dean yanked him closer and pressed their foreheads together. They stood there for a second, breathing each other's air.

Dean felt the roundness of Cas's belly pressing against his flat one. It had gotten bigger since the last time he saw him. It hit him that time. He and Cas had created this baby, this thing growing inside of the other man. "I always wanted a family. Never wanted to admit it to myself."

"I know."

Dean held him tighter. "He's going to have two badass parents, you know."

He felt a huff of breath on the side of his face; it was Cas laughing.

"I do believe you are right," the angel murmured against his shoulder.

"Stay with me, Cas. You're going to start needing your rest."

Cas pulled back to look at him with solemn eyes. "Do you really want me to?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't ask, if I didn't mean it."

"Very well. This vessel was beginning to feel weary," he replied, slipping from Dean's grasp to sit on the bed.

A horrible thought crossed Dean's mind. "Cas, what does Jimmy think about all this? I can't believe I never thought of him."

Sadness passed over the angel's features. "Jimmy has long since passed on. I am the only one inhabiting this body."

"Shit, I'm sorry. He was a good dude."

"Yes, he was."

Dean pulled Cas up further on the bed. They lay there, facing each other with their limbs intertwined. They were both so tired that they hadn't even bothered to take off their clothes to get more comfortable.

"We'll get through this somehow, Cas. We always find a way."

"I have faith in you, Dean," he replied, softly.

After a while, Cas was out like a light, and Dean slowly fell asleep. He did wake up to the noise of the hotel door opening and saw the familiar shape of his brother.

He was still drowsy, but he could've sworn he heard Sam's voice say, 'About damn time.'

* * *

Who else feels destroyed from the finale? I knew I had to finish this chapter to make myself feel better.

I just don't know how to feel about the show anymore. : (

Hope you liked this chapter.

Please review.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters. **

The sun's rays peeped through the blinds of the hotel window, shining into Dean's face. He mumbled and tried to turn over, but his movement was halted by something large and warm draped over one side of his body. His eyes fluttered open as he got more accustomed to the light. A loud yawn let loose from his mouth. He finally looked down and saw a head of dark brown hair.

All the memories from the previous night came rushing back to him, and the muscles in his body tensed in nervousness.

Then Cas made a small noise and burrowed his face into his shirt, snuggling against his chest, and Dean couldn't help but smile. His body relaxed back into the softness of the hotel mattress. He took a deep breath and calmed down his quaking nerves. This was all new to him, and he had fucked up so many times with Cas. He didn't want to put him through anything else. He tightened his hold on Cas's waist where his hand rested on a narrow hip.

Dean glanced over at the other bed, after hearing some rustling noises. Sam was just starting to wake up, and he met his brother's gaze.

A shit-eating grin spread over Sam's face. "Awww, don't you two look so cute together."

"Not a word, Sammy, or I swear I'll kick your ass," Dean growled lowly.

"Dean and his angel. Cuddling. Wait until I tell Bobby." Sam just laughed and rolled out of bed, heading toward the bathroom.

At that moment, Dean vowed to put Nair in Sam's shampoo again. He was not cuddling with Cas. They were just lying together with their bodies touching. That's it. He realized his other hand was cradling the angel's that was lying on his chest, so he made a face and let go. There was only so much chick-flick moments he could take.

He really wanted to get up, but he was afraid of waking Cas because it was obvious he needed the sleep. He scooted over from underneath Cas's head and tried to slide his arm from underneath the angel's body, but Cas just rolled over right onto his arm.

Dean was currently hanging off the bed with his arm stuck under a round angel.

"If you wanted to get up, all you had to do was say it, Dean," the angel said with laughter in his voice. He moved to the other side of the bed to stare at Dean. That almost-smile was on his face.

"Cas, you son of bitch. How long have you been awake?" Dean asked, while mustering up what was left of his dignity by getting off the floor and glaring at the other man.

"Long enough to know that Sam believes we look cute together," he replied in his serious voice, which only made Dean want to burst out laughing.

The hunter got off the floor and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at Cas. If he was able to describe his own expression, Dean would say he had a dopey grin on his face.

Cas just stared back with a real smile on his face. At that moment, Dean felt content. He had Sam, Cas, Bobby, and a son on the way.

Sam came back out of the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed. "You guys want to get breakfast?"

"Hell, yeah. I'm starving. I think I remember a diner not far from here. "

Dean quickly showered, and the trio headed off to the diner. Sam sat on one side, while Dean and Cas squeezed into the other.

"You find any other cases?" asked Dean, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Yeah. Yeah, check this out." Sam's face lit up, and he pulled out his laptop. Sometimes he's brother was too damn geeky for his own good. "I've been thinking. Have you two been thinking about a baby names yet because I've been thinking that Samuel sounds like a really good one."

Dean smirked. "I don't know, man. Sounds pretty stupid to me."

Sam glared at his brother, while Cas settled over the menu, staring very intensely at the choices.

The angel looked up briefly as the other two men bickered. "I have been thinking of names."

Dean and Sam looked over at him in surprise.

Dean put his menu down in anticipation. "What'd you come up with?"

"I would like to name him after your father. I think it would be a fitting tribute. I very much like Jonathan."

A flash of sadness flashed over Sam's face, and Dean had to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Is this not an acceptable choice?" Cas asked, worriedly.

"No, it's a great choice, Cas, "Sam said, encouragingly, "I think Dad would've loved that."

Dean mutely shook his head in agreement. As far as baby names went, Dean had never really thought about it, but Jonathan would be a good tribute to his Dad. He shook off the creeping sadness and smiled at his angel …boyfriend…angel-boyfriend.

"Good," Cas replied.

After the waitress took their orders, they mostly talked about the upcoming case. At the moment, their thoughts strayed from the looming apocalypse.

Soon their food was bought out, and they chowed down. Dean had really never seen a person eat that many pancakes, but if that's what Cas wanted, he would give it to him.

"I have determined that I find pancakes very interesting," Cas stated in a business-like tone.

Dean tried but failed to hold back his smile. "I guess you got yourself a new craving then."

"I suppose so," Cas sat up straighter and put his fork down after finishing off his fourteenth pancake, " I feel much better now, much more rested. I must return to my search."

Sam and Dean went rigid in their seats.

"Cas, are you sure that's a good idea?" Sam inquired, his big puppy eyes coming out in full force.

"I have no choice, Sam. If we are to stand a chance, I must find my Father. Not only for your sakes, but for Jonathan's as well."

Dean didn't say anything. He wasn't sure what to say. With the angels after him, he really didn't think it was a good idea, but the angel had a point. If the Colt plan fell through then what, saying 'Yes' to Michael. He shivered at the idea.

Cas stood up from his seat. Before he could stop himself, Dean's hand shot out. The angel looked down at his wrist in the other man's hand.

"Dean."

"Just promise me that you'll be careful, man. No unnecessary risks," he murmured, not looking at Cas's eyes, more in the vicinity of his throat.

Cas maneuvered his hand to hold Dean's and squeezed it reassuringly. "I promise."

Dean finally glanced up at the angel's eyes, and it took his breath away. "Yeah, okay." He watched the angel say goodbye to Sam and walk out the diner, disappearing soon after that. Hopefully, no one in the diner saw that.

Sam cleared his throat to draw his brother's attention. "I think he'll be fine, Dean."

"I hope so, Sammy. I really do."

Dean finished eating his breakfast, while Sam was searching for info on his laptop. God, he loved bacon.

Dean didn't miss the panicked expression that came over his brother's face.

"I think I found a case. Looks like it involves some type of warehouse or something."

"Alright, then let's head out."

* * *

*dodges many objects thrown her way*

I'm sorry for the long delay in the story. So many things happening in real life, and then there was the whole season six, which kind of broke my heart. I just stopped writing for a while because of it. I lost my muse, but I think I found it again. I hope to do better with the updates.

Hope you liked this chapter. Please review.


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